Search
  • Andrew Monroe

A Case for TV Part 2- Sharing Deeper Passions (#6)


In this episode, Daniel and Andrew talk about why it's important for us to build deeper connections with friends, the value in diversifying your relationships, and why it's tough for us to do so.  Don't worry, #sixseasonsandamovie shows up again, and vulnerability makes another appearance.





Show Notes:


Brene Brown Vulnerability: TED TALK


DUDE CHECK THIS OUT PODCAST: http://dudecheckthisoutpodcast.libsyn.com/


The Homophily Principle:  https://www.researchgate.net/publication/233822040_Birds_of_a_Feather_Homophily_in_Social_Networks


Hardwired for Empathy: https://news.virginia.edu/content/human-brains-are-hardwired-empathy-friendship-study-shows


Transcription:


Eps 6

Daniel: [00:00:00] Guys welcome to the dead by tomorrow podcast. My name is Daniel winter and my cohost is Andrew Monroe. Any we're going to explore topics that are too important to wait until your last day on earth. As we introduce each topic, we encourage you to remember that. Tomorrow will be your last. So each new day could be your final chance to really,

Andrew: [00:00:25] Hey guys, welcome back to dead.

By tomorrow, a last episode, we talked about TV and entertainment and how you can develop relationships starting from that point. And this episode, we're wanting to talk to you guys about how you lead those relationships down deeper channels and develop passion and learn to share those passions with these people in your new relationships.

So thanks for tuning in and looking forward to connecting with you soon.

Daniel: [00:00:47] Hey, Andrew, glad to be back this week. So my first question for you actually is it's not an original question. I stole it from one of my good friends. I call him Bernie, but his actual real name. That's a story for a whole other time about why he's called Bernie.

Maybe that'll come up. But yeah, his real name is Kevin land. He actually has as a podcast with one of his good friends called dude, check this out. we'll talk a little bit more about that podcast throughout this episode. Cause I think it touches on some really cool things, all that to say he has this really great icebreaker question that I want to hit you with.

And it's, whenever you're at a party or you're just meeting somebody, what is something that you love? That you never start with sharing.

Andrew: [00:01:36] Ooh, that's a little hard. I'm usually pretty open book on a lot of stuff. For me. It would probably be at least in the context of TV shows and that kind of stuff for me, it'd be anime and cartoons in general.

A lot of people still look down on, a dragon ball, Z Pokémon, adventure time, all those shows that we still watch and really enjoy. It's one of those dangerous topics that I actually try and hold and reserve because I am cognizant of the facts, a lot of people have really strong, like unfairly strong distaste for anime and, they might give a pass for studio Ghibli and Oh, I've seen my, I don't know, spirited away or something like that.

But yeah. What if you're talking about anything, that's not mainstream? They're just like, Oh, you're a weirdo. It's not even Oh, you have your own interests and passions. It's a, Oh, you're weird. And you probably, I don't know, I don't know what they think that people do that watch anime, but they're just like, Oh, you're gross.

Maybe it's a lack of hygiene now that I think about it. And they might be a little red on that part, but whatever. So what about you, Daniel? Do you have anything that, your dirty secret?

Daniel: [00:02:43] Yeah, it's funny that you said anime because literally early last night, that's what I was watching before I went to bed watching dragon ball Z.

Super. Yeah, it is. It's good. It's got a lot, the classic dragon ballsy themes where [00:03:00] you watch probably. 10 episodes to get to the one episode you really want to watch, but I feel like they really leaned into Goku just in his lust for battle and being the best. So it's worth checking out. But what I'll say specifically is.

Yes, anime. Yes. All of those sorts of things. But for me, if they want is probably adventure time and what's, I don't know. Embarrassing, I guess I hate saying embarrassing. Cause I'm kind of like you, I'm mostly an open book, but I love the show so much that whenever I. First was watching it. I vowed that I would name my first dog.

Jake is Jake. The dog is one of the central characters. And I said, whenever I get a dog, someday, his name will be Jake. And lo and behold, if you know me, my dog's name is Jake. I was able to fortunately convince my wife to uphold that name of a friend who made a similar vowed to name his first dog, speedy pickles.

He was not able to convince his wife to, with that one. So at least Jake is a cute dog name.

Andrew: [00:04:04] Yeah, Jake's a great dog name. I like it. I think we've mentioned Jake before on this podcast because he's a cute dog and he's got that fluffy, but

Daniel: [00:04:12] yeah, so that's probably, I would say is I really love watching adventure time, love watching cartoons.

And I agree with you. It's one of those things that I think. I think there is a little bit of this negative mindset that I perceived to be out there, but I don't know most of the time. I actually share that with somebody, either. I find out that they actually really liked the show as well. And it's a really cool connection point, or I can explain to them what the show is about.

And then I get to talk about, something that I really love and something that. I have a lot of interest in which kind of brings us around to how passion can be a really great way to build a deeper relationship and getting into the things that maybe you wouldn't share right off the bat. You should actually try to do that a little bit more.

If you say shallow with. Somebody, if you're only giving them the more manicured version of you that you know is going to be by everybody else saying, yeah, we're going to bring this show back up again. If I like the office or if I like parks and rec, because everybody likes the office. Everybody likes parks and rec.

Everybody likes Harry Potter. Everybody likes gaming. It sounds and that's okay to like those things. We love those things here as well. The problem is at that point, you're making yourself the same as probably a hundred other people that would have a conversation with somebody. And you're not very unique if that's all you're letting others into.

Andrew: [00:05:36] And whenever you are sharing these interests in these passions, you have. The goal is to find like a symbiotic relationship, right? You're looking for people to bring something to the table that either you don't know about, or you haven't experienced, and they're expecting the same from you. They want to use you to grow and learn more and become more together.

And this isn't just, this is any relationship. And whenever you're saying like, Oh yes, [00:06:00] I liked that thing that you also like that everybody else likes. You're not going to be able to add much to that dialogue, but whenever you talk about adventure time, which is still a really popular cartoon, But it is a little bit less well known.

And at least for me, I know there's a lot of really good lessons in it that I really liked. And being able to share kind of those experiences and those thoughts on something that might be harder to find at your average water day cooler conversation, that's going to bring you a lot more interest and maybe intrigued even to a relationship which.

Kind of opens that door wider for, opportunities to meet up with that person, Hey, let's talk about this more outside of work or that doesn't really interesting. Or, Hey, that is something that nobody else talks with me about. I really like that too. Let's talk more about it because I'm starved for that attention.

if anybody wants to talk about the game of Thrones season finale right now, I'm burned down on it. And it was yeah. Interesting for two days. And I was like, wow, I am overloaded with the people saying the same thing over and over again.

Daniel: [00:06:54] Yeah, for sure. It's at a certain point, you become overloaded with that and you're not a scarce resource in terms of conversation

Andrew: [00:07:03] has exactly you're a broken record and you don't want to be a broken record.

You want to be that fresh, new hit, and maybe it's a fresh new hit that they don't really like, but at least I got to hear it. They're not hearing the same old thing. The whole point of all this though, is whenever you start trying to find those passions, you share with people, we're helping introduce people to new passions.

You build a deeper, more meaningful relationship. And that's really important because that's what brings happen. Penis to us that brings us joy in life and allows you to move forward in a lot of different ways that you can't with a shallower relationship. You're able to start planning projects together and sharing more quality times that is more intimate.

I can come over to your house and I can hang out all day and, spend the night at your place and play with your dog and that kind of thing. We can have a good time and that's not something that I could do with some random friend of mine that I just met a couple of weeks ago. I'm not going to be like, Hey, how about I come hang out with you for the weekend and know your wife with you?

And we have a good old gaming session and chat about things that matter to us. that's just not something on the table I could do with just anyone.

Daniel: [00:08:06] Yeah. Having that initial investment and connection and knowing that there are similarities leads to that. And I feel like it's interesting doing these episodes.

I spent a lot of time Googling how to make friends. So my Google search history might look a little sad and pathetic right now

Andrew: [00:08:24] you're going to die and people would be like, wow. Daniel must have been really lonely.

Daniel: [00:08:29] Yeah. They're at the end, just trying to find friends

puts us in a catch 22 for a lot of what we're talking about. It's called the homophily principle it's so the idea is essentially we are more likely to become friends with people that share deep similarities to us. And then. Friendships that we have with people who are less similar are going to dissolve more quickly, especially as our interests change, but essentially the deeper your interests, the more ingrained something is in the more similar [00:09:00] you share that with somebody else, they're more likely to, if you're going to keep a friendship.

So beings like religion, things like city education, age, occupation, ginger, those are things that are pretty set of it. that's why it's easier to become friends with guys that are about 30 years old and went to college compared to those that aren't, you just already have those connections deeply ingrained, but that's why, opening up to somebody about a deeper passion can build a stronger connection.

So if you and I only are friends because we. Both like community great show. It's back now for episode six seasons

Andrew: [00:09:44] in a movie.

Daniel: [00:09:46] But if that's all we've got at the end of the day, either we'll get tired of talking about community, which apparently is pretty tough. For us

Andrew: [00:09:55] it's a scarcity topic,

Daniel: [00:09:58] or God forbid, one of us decides that we don't really like it anymore.

We're not going to become friends. So if we don't open up and share some of the other things that maybe we're a little bit scared to get into it, cause I'm like, I don't know if Andrew is going to be into that. If we don't at least give it a chance, we're not giving our art. Selves and opportunity to actually build, a more lasting ties, some additional ties things where we really could hang out.

And that's why you could come over for a weekend, hang out, annoy my wife and my dog, whatever it is because we've got a whole string of things that we have similarities on and that we feel connected on. And you have similar interests in.

Andrew: [00:10:34] So that kind of reminds me, and I think we've talked about this specific Ted talk from Brene Brown before, but that's what this kind of is you sharing something like that, a passion that you don't know, the other, person's going to share something, your interests.

That is a really minor step towards being vulnerable with somebody. And if you haven't, you've got to go watch that Brene Brown vulnerability special. It's on Netflix. It's on YouTube and it is powerful. And I'm not even going to try and summarize it cause you just have to watch it. But I think that's kind of what we're talking about is you're moving towards vulnerability.

So now that said, what did you call that paradox again? Like minded

Daniel: [00:11:11] it's a, it's awfully principle and we'll get into why it's a little paradoxical, but,

Andrew: [00:11:17] okay. Yeah. So what scares me about that? The homophily principle, if I said that, I'm not even sure how to spell that. That's wild. There was a book that came out, I think last year, called Dodge fallen hell by Neil Stevenson.

The guy comes up with a lot of like kind of futuristic things like, Hey, I think this is what's going to happen in a hundred years. If things continue in this place. So one of the, say trajectories that he built was from social well media and all the social media algorithms now are encouraging that principle.

You only see the news. That Facebook or Instagram knows you're going to want to see. So articles, let's say you're a Trump supporter. If you're a Trump supporter, you're really only going to see articles, news, and other people that are supporting Trump. Facebook's [00:12:00] not going to show you stuff that disagrees with your belief system or your passion system, if we're going to use that word.

So that kind of thing scares me because we're using a lot of technology to enforce a principle that sounded like something, at least to me, that we need to be aware of. So we don't fall into it.

Daniel: [00:12:16] Yeah, exactly.

Andrew: [00:12:17] Yeah, that's frightening.

Daniel: [00:12:18] Yeah. that's the paradox of it is that this is a truth where we share similarities.

We're more likely to build friendships, but I think the paradox is that I want to broaden my horizons and try to have relationships with peoples that I'm not as similar to because the issue that we start to run into is that we. Become like-minded we fall into group. Think we struggle to be able to empathize with others that we are not similar to.

And I think we see a lot of that across our nation right now. And that actually is another thing that's been studied. this idea of empathy it's in our brains, there was a university of Virginia study. Were they shocked person in, have somebody basically watch and look to see, like what, how did their brain respond to that?

And if it was a total stranger, their brain activity, didn't really register that shock as being a threat or an issue. But if. It was a friend. If you watched your friend getting shocked and then your brain lives up, like it was happening to you, the stronger, the relationship was the stronger your brain bonded to that.

And so I think this kind of comes back around to this whole idea. If you, as an individual, don't really feel a strong, emotional connection to something that is happening to, the African American portion of the population. maybe ask you a question. Do you have any black friends?

Andrew: [00:13:41] If you don't, that's a great

Daniel: [00:13:42] point.

If you don't, that's probably part of it is, you're just, you're not registering something as being a threat or being an issue because you don't have any similarities or any ties to that group of people. And so your brain's not going to register it the same way as is. If you have built those connections and built those friendships and for someone like you where I like we're both white guys, so we're going to have to build connections that.

Go beyond just race. our whole point is I think entertainment. It's a great steppingstone into that world that can additional, deeper things.

Andrew: [00:14:16] That's awesome because you're right. If you have trouble relating to people in a certain way, because you don't share those cultural or socioeconomic similarities.

what you probably can share is, there might be something entertainment wise and just because you're lacking that deeper level connection with them. That doesn't mean it can't be formed, but you've got to fund a steppingstone first. And that's where that kind of the entertainment talk, we're having is going.

You see somebody at the water. Cool. You run into somebody. Don't be afraid to open up to them about what you'd like. Some dislikes are probably, maybe stick with likes. I think it's weird when people bond on something they dislike. I think that's unhealthy. And it drives me nuts. Honestly, there was

Daniel: [00:14:53] no one more chases of the Mondays, please.

Andrew: [00:14:55] Yeah. That, Oh, that was rough to you. I, I liked that movie, the office space, but that [00:15:00] scene in general, I was just like, Oh, I can't handle that. Mondays are always going to be great. Now I refuse. Yeah. But yeah, people will want to connect with you and we're all just, we're all scared to break the ice and that's all this really comes down to is a really easy, safe way to be vulnerable.

Somebody is talking about passions. You have specifically with, TV, entertainment, whatever it is, and, The new call of duty game, the number of friends I've made, just because I see them talking about something online that I don't really know them, but I'm like, Oh, Hey, that random person is talking about X-Box or, I did a talk with a bunch of kids at a school here and they were bored.

they didn't want to hear me talk about writing and that kind of thing. But then I mentioned that I played Fortnite and this room lost it. All these kids went insane because now they were emotionally connected with this guy that was giving a lecture to them because he played Fortnite and now they cared what I had to say because he liked Fortnite as well.

So being able to do something like that with other people is specifically how it works. And it's usually the things that you're least expected to be invested in. everybody's going to expect people to be invested in game of Thrones. Nobody's expecting me to jump out with, my hero academia at swag, and that are the books I read, that kind of stuff.

There's all these different things that make you who you are, that you don't share with people or that they assume isn't right. A part of your personality. And as soon as you give them that piece to hold on to, you can start building that relationship, getting deeper and understanding problems they face and what they care about.

And you can start caring about the things they care about as well. And you grow as a person. Cause I don't think there's a limit on how much we can learn or care about everybody else.

Daniel: [00:16:37] Yeah, I agree. And I think passions are one of those really cool things that they're made to be shared. And I'm going to go back to, Kevin land, who I mentioned at the beginning of the episode, his entire podcast is built around, him and one of his really good friends they've grown up together.

But even despite being friends for so long, there are a lot of interests that they. Individually have that the others don't have. And so each episode they give each other something to go check out and then they come back and they just talk about it and they just bond over it. And when they bring somebody on the episode, that's the same thing that their guests will give them something to checkout.

Like I listened to and absurd where one of my friends was like, Hey, I love metal music. Listen to these metal albums and we're going to talk about it. And it's just this opportunity to. Again, share something that you're excited about to grow a connection. And then, on their end, just being open to hearing about that passion that somebody else has giving space for that.

And, maybe even cultivating and developing a new interest. So it's a two-way street. Like you got to be willing to share those things as an individual, but also when somebody else is sharing something that they're excited about and that they're passionate about being willing to. give it a year, give it a shot and not be like, Oh, you're a gross person that watches anime.

You probably don't shower. I guess

Andrew: [00:17:53] that's the thing. I think that's what people assume. I'm not sure though, but no, that's, that is really important because you're right. [00:18:00] People generally don't have that drive to explore new stuff. Like as soon as someone's Hey Andrew, you want to listen to this metal song.

I'm like, nah, I don't like metal, but I don't really know. I've listened to a little bit and I didn't like it. 10 years ago, but I haven't given it a chance since then. And there's a whole lot of stuff that I am personally like, Oh, I don't like that, but I've never actually tried giving it a chance.

And I'm usually a pretty open-minded guy. And there's a lot people who are way more or closed off. And they're just like, no, this is who I am. And you are questioning my identity by asking me to share this passion with you. So that's probably the first step is getting past that. The principal you talked about and recognizing you need to be willing to try new things, even, in your late twenties or early twenties or late forties or wherever you're at Lakey.

And you could be on death's door, circling the drain. You don't stop having new experiences and. No, you don't have to, at least a lot of people do, but that really needs to be a focus for all of us is being willing to try these new things, check out a new TV show. Cause what's the investment an hour, two hours.

That's that is nothing in comparison to some of the things we waste time on.

Daniel: [00:19:07] For sure. And if you're not willing to, that can be okay, but you just have to recognize it. That means you're limiting your connection with, whatever individual you're interacting with and that's fine. Like you, you've got to pick and choose your investments and your time, but just like in the store market, the given wisdom is to diversify.

I think you should do the same with your friends and your relationships. If you have. 15 friends that all relatively look the same, maybe give that person the time of day that wants to take you out, fly fishing, instead of doing your normal thing of playing Xbox.

Andrew: [00:19:46] Hey, you know that I'm going to pick on you because pick on you is the wrong way to put it, but that's a great example. you told me you were fly fishing with Brett, I think was it Brett? 10. Oh, okay. So you told me you were fly fishing with Tim. And my first reaction is what you don't fish. That's weird.

And then I was like, that's so cool. I don't have any money. I know goes, fly fishing. And it's very least no one's invited me. And that was a thing that for the longest time I'd have been like, heck no, I'm not fly fishing. That sounds boring. I'm not about it. But I've learned to see the benefits and fishing, not from anybody in particular, just I've recognized that there's a certain stillness that can be found in the fishing and the patience and the skill and anything like that as an interesting experience, especially if you haven't tried it before.

And that was really cool that you were willing to go out on that limb and go fishing when I probably in the same situation would have originally said no to it.

Daniel: [00:20:34] Yeah. And the nice thing about saying yes to sharing a passion with somebody is you. Automatically get to learn from an expert. It would be a little different if I was suddenly like I'm going to get into fly fishing and I had to do it all myself and all that sort of stuff.

But to have a friend, he was so passionate about it and could really show me the ropes. it was a cool chance to learn a new skill and to also invest in a relationship. And like we've [00:21:00] talked about, just add another layer to it.

Andrew: [00:21:02] Absolutely. There was actually a TV show is part of why I'm like, Oh, fishing might not be so bad.

And it all American, which is also a show that I would probably not normally watch, but. I am watching it. It's about football. And as that's not usually my forte. That's about this guy playing football in high school and trying to, go to college. So first off, I'm watching this show. That is definitely not my usual.

And while I'm watching it, there's this whole scene about a dad wanting to take his kid fishing and how fishing's not really fishing. And it's about thinking and all this stuff. I was like, Whoa. I of want to go fishing now. So there was TV right there giving me a hook to not only talk about football with somebody, because now I have an extra card to play on that front, but also, I could talk to somebody about Hey, I kind of want to go fishing.

Do you know what fishing involves? Can we go there? There's a lot of stuff. There's a lot of benefits that can happen just from experience. Banding your entertainment, diversification, getting your stock market going on the relationship front.

Daniel: [00:21:56] I can't get rid of the fact that you just used TV gave you a hook when talking about fishing.

Did you mean to make that plan?

Andrew: [00:22:03] No, I never mean to PON. Dang. It comes out of the worst, but Oh, I want to bring you back around though, and we're going to pretend it didn't make a pun. So I'm going to bring you back around to a question I had for you. Is there a relationship or like an example of a relationship with someone that kind of formed from TV?

Do you have any like anecdotal experience with this?

Daniel: [00:22:23] so there's one that I would say at forum first because of Frisbee, but I have a friend Pat who also loves adventure time. also loves community. And those are two. I know. He's a great guy, but those are two specific things that took where we could hang out.

We could play Frisbee, but once Frisbee was over, we had some of that I think we could connect on. So being able to talk about your mutual love for adventure time, and then he could introduce me to shows that were similar to that. Cause he already knew I had an interest in that. And then I think specifically about community where yeah, there was a time that I was watching.

The blanket for episode. And I was talking to Pat and he was looking to get out of his house. And I was like, Hey, I just watched the blink Ford episode of community. And he was like, Oh, that's a great episode. And I was like, we should build a blanket for it and my house. And we built this Epic, like at four, when all the way up the stairs, we'd enclosed a ceiling fan.

So it could be air conditioning and all this sort of stuff

Andrew: [00:23:19] we're going.

Daniel: [00:23:19] Yeah. Yeah. So I wouldn't say it started from TV, but it definitely added. Some layers to it that otherwise wouldn't have been there

Andrew: [00:23:29] that gives you the hooks to keep climbing in that relationship. Whenever it would have otherwise stalled out, like you had Frisbee and you're having fun, but what do you talk about whenever you're that main interest you have disappeared, and this is coming from the other direction, of course, but it's still a benefit you can fill in those gaps.

Of uncomfortableness or where a friendship or relationship might have digressed. And you're able to almost revive and be like, Hey, I know we shared this. how about we share this now? And so you're getting different aspects and you're building [00:24:00] this three-dimensional relationship instead of a two-dimensional relationship you might've already had.

And it's, you can do that indefinitely in my mind. As long as you keep sharing and they keep sharing all those voids that cause stagnation or the wrong sort of tension in a relationship, they can be filled or fixed by Hey, let's check out this a new thing together. Or let me share this thing that I'm really passionate about that I don't share it with a lot of people.

Daniel: [00:24:23] Yeah. And ultimately if it ends up where there are differences in opinions, again, that can still be a conversation topic. Just like we've mentioned, neither of us like breaking bad ton of people, like breaking bad. We can at least have the conversation about what it was about the show that we didn't like.

And it gives that glimpse into a little bit more of who we are as people, how we think about things.

Andrew: [00:24:42] Yeah. And if you end up hanging with a drug dealer and that's why they like it so much, maybe you find out a little early and you get to decide, do I want to go for a life of crime or, maybe I need to keep on with my vanilla life and maybe I need to cut this person out of it.

So you've got great options either way.

Daniel: [00:24:58] All right. So everybody that likes breaking bad is a drug dealer or aspiring drug

Andrew: [00:25:02] dealer. I've actually own

that

Daniel: [00:25:04] one. Kevin Miller.

Andrew: [00:25:07] I could see Kevin being a drug dealer when I was doing so the internet installed them. This is just a silly sidebar that we'll probably cut out.

But I went to this guy's house. He looked like he had the shaved head. He had a breaking bad shirt on and his whole house was just decked out and like breaking bad stuff, which normally wouldn't be too weird, except for the way he was talking and acting. And the whole setup of this place. I am almost positive.

He was actually making meth. And it was one of those things. I was super uncomfortable because the guy was trying to be chill and was like doing that thing where like people who are wanting to tell you something that they really shouldn't tell you is like treating you. He was doing that the whole time I was there and everything was breaking bad.

And I was just like, this dude has a basement. I can't go into it. He's making yes. Down there. And I'm still convinced to that. So yes, at least one breaking bad fan is actually a drug dealer.

Daniel: [00:25:56] Yeah. I feel like the numbers side with you there.

Andrew: [00:25:58] Yeah, just one out of what? 10. That's a big number. Okay. So I want a little off topic there for a second but let me bring it back around.

Before we close this out to the professional side of relationships. So there was a study that we'll link to in the show notes and study might be a generous word for this article, but essentially what they found was the deeper relationships you had with your coworkers, the better results you yielded in the office.

And we're not trying to say Hey, you need to make sure that you're making your boss and your company extra money. This was actually more specifically about the founders of Google as the example and how. Because they had such a good relationship. That's why Google exploded so well is their relationship transcended their workplace.

And it actually allowed them to be more vulnerable and more honest with each other at work because their jobs or the creation of Google was only a part of their relationship. It wasn't the whole of their relationship. So they weren't afraid of stepping on eggshells or. I'm mixing [00:27:00] metaphors there, but they weren't afraid of criticism and helping each other and all the kinds of things that would require you to build the sum greater than the parts.

And that came from their deeper relationship that applies to all of us. If you can have that better relationship with your coworkers and have a deeper bond. Not only is your workday going to be better because you're actually working with your friends, which you and I have both talked about. Like that's one of our big dreams is one day working towards the same goals in a career setting, because that sounds like a blast.

That's exactly what this timeout is. Make that happen. Find those people at your office and turn them into those friends, terminate people that you're looking forward to. And you have a relationship with outside of the office because that makes your office experience or your career experience better and more fulfilling for you.

You end up making more money. You have better yields by having these stronger relationships. And if you have weaker relationships, it's less, you don't make as much money. You don't have as happy of life. So it's something really important, both in and outside of your professional life.

Daniel: [00:28:02] Yeah, and I feel like it's one of those things you've got to really seek to increase those ties.

And I think the reason why you're saying that it provides opportunity to more constructive and feedback and not, worry about stepping on eggshells or whatever it is. It's because whenever your relationship with somebody. At work, it's one dimensional. It's, we are work friends and that's where we are.

If you criticize their work, you're essentially criticizing the entirety of the frame. And that's hard to stop, versus if you have a relationship that's, it's built on more than that, you can focus on one aspect. Yeah. The relationship, which is work in bringing criticism and feedback or whatever it is there, but then have that stability.

That's in place with the rest of the relationship knowing. Oh, okay. And they still like me as a person. We're still friends. It's just, I did a really crappy job on this presentation and somebody needed to tell me about it.

Andrew: [00:28:55] Exactly. And you're able to trust people that is what they're doing.

If you don't have that relationship, you might not trust somebody to give you proper advice. They might say Hey, that was crap. And you're like, Oh, I don't know this person. They're trying to. They're trying to make me look bad and they're just trying to hurt me and get in my head and, mess up what's going on at work.

And so if you don't have that relationship with somebody that, they've got your back, you're also going to be defensive, whether or not someone is being honest with you. So it's, there's a whole lot of stuff in there. And it goes to an episode that we will probably I'll be doing sometime in the future.

And that's a small part, big sums it, the little stuff, doing the little things every day that have a positive impact. That 1% better, that 1% better. Has a compounding interest on your life and being able to just be a little bit better at work, being a little bit better in your social life. And these relationships is going to have exponential return down the road, for sure.

Daniel: [00:29:48] All right. So we're saying in order to be the best person you have to have watched every TV show played every game, created every opportunity for connections that you. [00:30:00] Have every relationship at your disposal,

Andrew: [00:30:02] right? No. Absolutely. You have to do it all the time.

Daniel: [00:30:06] Yeah, definitely not sarcasm there.

So we know that those relationships are important. Having more connection points is important, for sure. A challenge yourself to watch something you wouldn't watch to do something that you wouldn't do expand your horizons, but there is moderation in that. And so that's what we want to get into in our next episode is.

How much is too much on the entertainment front. Where do you need to dial it back a little bit? Where is it actually hindering your social interactions, your betterment as a person versus actually giving you opportunity to grow that

Andrew: [00:30:42] this was dead by tomorrow with Daniel and Andrew. Thank you guys for listening. And we look forward to connecting with you soon until next time.

2 views

Subscribe Form

  • Twitter
  • Facebook
  • YouTube

©2020 by Dead by Tomorrow. Proudly created by Axe & Bow.