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Opportunities Part 1 (#12)


Opportunities can be hard to spot, and harder to take a chance on. 

This episode is part one of a two part series on opportunities and how these opportunities can affect your life. We mean things that can help improve your life, improve your social standing or your career and whether or not you need to be saying yes or no. We know it's hard and we definitely aren't perfect at it ourselves, but we really want to pass on what we've learned about this and hope you enjoy this episode and everything that we have coming.




Show Notes:


 Maker vs. Manager: https://fs.blog/2017/12/maker-vs-manager/


Andrew's Old Place of Work: www.plainsinternet.com Yes & No: https://medium.com/the-mission/yes-and-no-are-two-answers-you-need-to-learn-as-soon-as-possible-98e86504d9e7#:~:text=%E2%80%9DSaying%20%E2%80%9CNo%E2%80%9D%20means%20you,not%20saying%20NO%20to%20yourself.%E2%80%9D

Boundaries: https://psychcentral.com/blog/boundaries-why-you-say-yes-when-you-really-mean-no/


Helpers High: https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/the_helpers_high


Art of Sayiong no: https://dariusforoux.com/the-art-of-saying-no/


Extreme Ownership Checklist: https://wealthfit.com/lifestyle/extreme-ownership-checklist/


Say No to a Friend: https://www.rewire.org/say-no-to-a-friend/

Transcription:


Episode 12 Sequence


Andrew: [00:00:20] well guys, welcome back to dead by tomorrow with Daniel and Andrew, we are thrilled to have you guys with us again. On another episode, this one is going to be part one of a two-part series on opportunity by opportunity. We mean things that can help improve your life, improve your social standing or your career and whether or not you need to be saying yes or no.

And how to tell when to say yes or no to these opportunities, we know it's hard and we definitely aren't perfect at it ourselves, but we really want to pass on what we've learned about this and hope you enjoy this episode and everything that we have coming.

Daniel: [00:00:59] All right, Andrew, have you ever seen the movie? Yes, man. And I don't know why I asked. I'm pretty sure we watched that movie together. What was that high school? Middle

Andrew: [00:01:09] Yeah, it's been a while. Yes. I definitely saw it with you at least once.

Daniel: [00:01:13] Yeah. Yeah. Great movie. worth checking out, but I feel like that really plays into what we're talking about this week or. Today or whatever our frequency is on podcasts. I don't know. We're not consistent enough to be able to say that.

Yeah, but they're talking about really. Saying yes. To opportunities and saying no to opportunities. And so I'm curious, where do you feel like you fall on that? Yes, man. Spectrum, do you tend to say yes way too often to where that kind of gets you in trouble or are you a bah humbug and we have to drag you out of yourself.

You tend to say no.

Andrew: [00:01:48] Okay. It's funny. You actually asked that because I know we've been talking about this subject. For a little bit, but generally I'm way too much of a yes, man. But I just thought it was me being nice and it definitely gets in the way of stuff, but actually just the other day Shalomi called me a pushover and I was like, wait, are you serious?

I was like, I don't think I'm a pushover, but my neighbor, I don't even know was trying to get me to help move some concrete slab into her backyard. I was just like, yeah. Okay. I guess I can help if it's fits in my time schedule, come move this thing in the middle of the day with you and ended up not happening.

But yeah, I say yes to everything. I don't even have to know these people. They're like, Hey, help me out. And I'm like, okay, let's do this. So, I'm a yes, man. And it definitely gets in the way of a lot of things I want to be doing.

Daniel: [00:02:32] it's interesting that you say you're a yes man but immediately spun it as feeling like it's a negative thing. So why do you feel like that's a negative thing?

Andrew: [00:02:41] So I've got a lot of, so to say, irons in the fire, I'm working on book two for leaf and pebble. We've got the podcast we're doing; we've got the book we're doing along with this that, is still under wraps and everything, but, surprise to those million people that are listening.

But. we have a bunch of different stuff there. I'm [00:03:00] working on the marketing. I just built a website for a guy. I finished it up yesterday. I'm supposed to be selling the marketing side of stuff and really ramping up that side of business where I'm going to be actually making money since these other things don't actually provide any income.

Daniel: [00:03:12] we don't make money on this podcast.

Andrew: [00:03:14] Oh no, those checks have been from your grandmother. She just has me hand them off to you as pay. Sorry.

Daniel: [00:03:20] That shatters my entire universe.

Andrew: [00:03:22] I know. you would think the Nana on the bottom would have given it away, but here we are also $5, man. That's not paid for anything. Come on.

Daniel: [00:03:30] Hey, I, if you can pay me for doing something, I love right. $5.

Andrew: [00:03:34] lot of stuff on the taco bell dollar menu.

Daniel: [00:03:36] that's true.

Andrew: [00:03:38] But no, I've got all this stuff and going on, the website, the marketing company, that's its whole beast that I should be pursuing, full time I've got the writing. I should be pursuing, with everything I've got, I haven't even started up a t-shirt company that I wanted to create, like kind of stuff.

So yeah. There's any time I say yes to just about anything, it generally is me cutting away time that I should be working on our podcast or on the books or on just about anything else, including the marketing and the websites and SEO and everything like that. There's so much to do and moving patio furniture for somebody.

I don't know that may or may not be a necessary thing. That it's a negative for me.

Daniel: [00:04:18] Do you feel like, in your life you're really striving towards essentially having a structure to every single thing where you've planned out all of your time. You've really pursued all of your opportunities so there’s no space to say yes to those random things where the payoff might seem insignificant or unknown.

Andrew: [00:04:42] Oh, no, I feel like I'm trapped.

Daniel: [00:04:44] We're playing chess, baby.

Andrew: [00:04:45] So there's a lot of opportunities I try and leave space. So, my general day is get up work, do that kind of thing, and work on stuff until four o'clock, five o'clock, six o'clock, depending on how I'm doing and what I'm doing. And if something comes up after that, I usually say yes to it. The goal I've had has been to really schedule out my productivity. And I've tried really hard to airtight my eight to five time period where it's just creative work or it's just administrative work or it's just whatever. That said, I've not been a very good representation of that. I helped my dad build a shed.

I went, decided to buy a house, start up an Airbnb, there's all these little things that have definitely. Been different opportunities that I've let breaking that schedule. But philosophically I am on the I want to schedule everything out and block off my time, but not necessarily to the exclusion of other opportunities.

Daniel: [00:05:42] Yeah. so philosophically, what exactly do you mean by that?

Andrew: [00:05:47] So I will, a lot of the times, and this, I spend a lot of time on this actually, which is also embarrassing, but I will actually schedule out like, Hey, this week I want three hours of writing in the morning, lunch break, [00:06:00] two hours of website design or marketing efforts or sales, and then, two hours of gym.

And then dinner and then free time or something like that. So, I will schedule out every day and be like, okay, this day, I'm actually going to share it, shorten it to two hours and I'm going to go run errands for an hour or something like that. So, I'll spend a lot of time, thinking about how I should build a schedule and how I should make a schedule to look really good to get my goals done.

So that's why I guess, philosophically is, I think that's the right way to do it. I'm not actually saying that. I follow it very well.

Daniel: [00:06:33] Gotcha. Fair enough.

Andrew: [00:06:35] Where's this chess match going? Am I winning?

Daniel: [00:06:38] No. I feel like it's your turn to you. you gotta make a move now.

Andrew: [00:06:42] Okay. So going back to yes, man, then it's, Hey, spend all your time saying yes. And see what happens, which is really cool. And I actually think if you don't have a lot of things going on or if you're activity isn't connected to your time necessarily, I think that's a great idea.

So someone in your position where you've got a stable, solid income and. What happens to that income outside of work hours is it's, you can't do a lot to affect your income after you leave the workplace. And you also can't do a lot to pursue new opportunities. If you're on company time, you can't go train for a marathon while you're at work.

I think in those situations saying as a lot is pretty good and in schedule like that. Is less necessary. and I think there's actually something called the maker versus the manager scheduling your day, something like that. And it's something I need to read because I started it. It seemed really interesting.

And I got distracted probably by the Xbox, but where do you fall on that? You schedule outside of work. Are you scheduling in our word time or what are you saying? Yes or no to.

Daniel: [00:07:45] Yeah. I probably tend more towards saying yes. Honestly, it maybe it's because of that movie really, it made me think, I thought it was, I thought it was really funny, but it really did make me think about, just what my default answer to things are. And so some of that just depends a little bit on.

Who's asking. And so if my, a boss, or if my team or somebody I'm close to at work, asks me to do something, ask for help on something. Or if a friend of family member or somebody like that asks me to do something, ask for help for something. Then I tend. To say yes to those sorts of things. but, a little bit less quick to do so I think if it's somebody that's outside of that circle, and I guess that goes back to just not seeing as much of the benefit and if I say yes to, this random person does that mean, I. Am saying no to [00:09:00] my wife or my boss or whatever that might be. And so that's a little bit more of my approach to it. Is there an order of priority, a hierarchy of how likely?

Andrew: [00:09:12] You're triaging your, decision making.

Daniel: [00:09:15] Yeah, yeah, really, and if I have nothing else going on, if I don't really have a good reason to say no, then I'm, I might be more likely to just say yes to something random, because it's Hey, that who knows where that could lead, that could be an adventure that could be exciting.

it could be a different experience. And the only thing I. And sacrificing here is maybe, I don't know, time that otherwise wouldn't be well spent potentially, or I don't know, discomfort or something like that. those are situations that I'd like to say yes to, but if it's a situation where I don't necessarily know that I'm getting from it, but I know what I'm losing from it.

I'm a lot more like Cletus to say no, there.

Andrew: [00:10:03] See, that's interesting that's where you're at. I am one of those people that it almost, I feel bad when I say no. So my default, even if it's not a I'm pursuing opportunities if I am able to say yes, if it's not actually costing me something like, Hey, can I have a hundred dollars?

I'm probably going to be like, maybe, but generally, if someone's like " Hey, I need help." I want you to do this or this. I just say yes, because I feel bad. I guess I'm almost afraid to say no. So are you, I guess you're not afraid to say no is what I'm getting at or is yours?

a

Daniel: [00:10:41] not. Cause here's the way that I think about it. Probably going to have to say no to someone, right?

I love playing, ultimate Frisbee. And chances are, if some random person asks me to play a game, I'm probably gonna say, yeah, I would love to play. Or if some random person asks like, Hey, can you go out and throw with me and show me how to play or something like that. Again. I'll probably say yes, because I'd love to help somebody out.

I love that sport, unless it means I need to say no to somebody. I would rather not say no to. So to compare it, like maybe somebody says, Hey, on, on Tuesday nights, I'm free., could we meet up and throw the Frisbee and you can show me how to play if I say yes to them.

Then I have to turn around and say no to my wife and our small group that meets on Tuesday nights. and I'd rather say no to the random ask than say no to a group of people that I'm a lot more committed to, have a lot more depth with.

Andrew: [00:11:52] yeah, that goes back to our commitment episode. Once you say yes to something you have to have, at least in my book, you have to have a really [00:12:00] good reason to renege on what you said.

Daniel: [00:12:02] Yeah, for sure. so that's, I think that one's easy. Like I think most people it's Oh yeah, if I already have another commitment, I can say no to something new and that's not true for everybody. But that's probably true for most people. the other thing I think about though, and this comes up a lot more with work where I'm not as afraid to say no is just recognizing the fact that I have a limited amount of energy and focus available to me and just being realistic about how much of that I have.

there have been times where, I've. in a good place to take something on. And there's a, big project, big opportunity, big whatever. And I might be scared to say yes, but again, I don't have a good reason not to. And so I'll say yes, and that situation there've been other times where I might really want to be involved in something that comes up.

but if I look at what's already on my plate, I have to recognize if I say yes to this. I'm not going to do a great job at this opportunity, or I'm going to start to not do a great job at the other things that I'm already responsible for, or I, all of a sudden, I'm going to be working from, 7:00 AM to 10:00 PM and I'm not going to be a great husband or a great friend.

And so some were like something going to suffer and I just need to be real. About that and that's, a conversation I had recently with, my boss, which she's super understanding, just about how, I feel like I haven't said yes to as many things lately, or even some of the things that I've had.

It's I feel like I've done an RA job, but I know. I could have given more, but it's just because in the season, my life right now, expecting a baby in October, working on getting the house ready for that. Just being real, that I don't have as much give on the personal side of things to shore up, maybe being a little bit overloaded on the work side.

And so there's, there's just a little bit of give that happens there and just explaining that. And she was super understanding, which. Major, shout out to my boss there, but I think that's another thing that I consider when saying yes when saying no. And what kind of helps me to not be afraid to say no.

Andrew: [00:14:22] Oh, no, that's great. You are not a, there's not two Daniels running around. We're like, Oh, this Daniel's at work. And then you come back and it's all right. Now it's time for fully charged Daniel to go about, all the other stuff you do outside of work. It's. I totally get it. Cause you know, we've both been working on the house stuff and I think you've been working a lot harder than I have been than mine.

Mine's mostly been like doing really dumb things, but

Daniel: [00:14:45] Yeah, I saw you like painting a roof or something.

Andrew: [00:14:48] Yes, there was. That would be one of the dumb things I was referencing. It actually worked by the way. I put this heavy duty, like lately expand on the roof and beforehand I could put my hand up to this roof [00:15:00] and feel like. Waves of heat coming off of it.

And I put this stuff up and the roof is like cool to touch from the inside now. So I don't know what the efficiency, I was told to expect like a 10%, a reflection rate or 10% drop in the temperature that was hitting it. But I think I got way more than that. it's night and day.

So it was pretty cool. But, yeah, it wears you out that kind of stuff will. Take a lot of your energy and focus. And whenever you go into the workplace, you're going to be less than, or genetic and less enthusiastic about being able to do stuff. And if you do say yes, you're going to do a bad job, and that hurts you in the long run.

If you say yes to something that you aren't prepared to do or prepare to follow through with properly, it looks poorly on you because it's something that could have been done with less time and been performed better by somebody else. And instead. Either they get a subpar result, or they have to re duplicate the work with somebody else, which is almost a double cost for the company, which nobody wants that's bad


Daniel: [00:15:56] Yeah. Yeah. I had a, one of my first bosses always told me that, every opportunity that comes your way, where you can stand out and succeed is equally an opportunity to stand out and fail. Be mindful of that.

Andrew: [00:16:11] and failure isn't necessarily a bad thing. we all fail, but if you are that guy who's constantly like messing stuff up. There's a difference between the guy who wasn't afraid to fail at something versus the guy who is constantly a pain in everybody's butt.

Daniel: [00:16:23] And there's a difference between failing because you really gave your best honest effort and failing because you truly bit off, more than you could chew, because you were afraid to set some boundaries.

Andrew: [00:16:36] Yeah. Yeah. Don't take on any like super important time projects, in October Daniel.

Daniel: [00:16:41] I'm going to be gone.

Andrew: [00:16:43] Oh, also for all of our millions of listeners, Daniel is auctioning off his firstborn's name. Once we hit that 1,000,001-subscriber mark, we're putting names in a hat and if you're drawn, you get to choose the firstborn's name.

Daniel: [00:16:56] We’ll just do it Reddit style where, pick a name of whichever one gets the most votes.

Andrew: [00:17:00] I like it. I like it. I found a bot actually that I can swing that program. So I'm all about this. That'll be fun, but yeah, that's, what's interesting about opportunities and I think this is weird that we have a different view on which way to go with scheduling and planning and. That kind of thing, but that's where mine is problematic is it's really easy for me to put any of the work I'm doing on the back burner and say, yeah, this book is it's going to take forever.

Like what's an hour of me hanging out with you or doing whatever and it adds up like I do it all the time, honestly, but it starts adding up. And it's really dangerous for me to say yes to things because. I do it too much. And a lot of people, it's almost, they see it and they're like, Oh, Andrew's probably not at work.

He's just at home. Or he's at the coffee shop. And I don't really know what he does. So he's probably free to help me move or, take care of my dog or water the plants, or, whatever it is, and I'm like, yep. I am technically like, I'm more available than somebody that has a [00:18:00] traditional job.

They go in the office. I can't just leave every two hours and go play with your snake and whatever it is that you've got to get taken care of while you're in Cabo.

I didn't know. These are not real examples. That is something I would say no. To asked me to take care of your snakes. They will be dead possibly before you leave.

I find out you have the snake that's game over for your house.

Daniel: [00:18:24] So it sounds like there are a lot of things that you end up saying yes to that, maybe you feel like you shouldn't, but do you have any examples of something where you say yes and it had a positive result that maybe you weren't anticipating or couldn't have foreseen.

Andrew: [00:18:42] Sure we can talk about planes in and out a little bit. Back in. I think that was 2015. I was actually trying to move in with you guys. And I was about to ditch. Amarillo had just been laid off and I was just like, I’m ready to go. So my dad's trying to get me to come on with them.

And I'm like, no, absolutely not. I'm moving to Dallas. Like I'm not going to work for you because you're an Amarillo. things fell through with the house and gave me enough time to rethink what I was doing. And I was like, yo, okay. You know what, let me say yes to this. I'm going to work with you.

But in my defense, I technically only said I was going to work for six months or a year or something. And that was me lying to myself about the yes, but I said, yes. And that's what matters. So I said, yes. And then fast forward, five years. And I developed a whole lot of skills. I really grew as a person.

I really learned a lot of things. Learned some bad habits I had when it came to management, I started off pretty condescending and I just, I was not a good manager at the beginning. And I'm sure there's people that would agree that I never became a better manager, but I like to think that I learned some stuff and got a lot better with working with people in a corporate environment and helping them grow and helping myself grow.

I also learned a lot about how to run a business and how not to run a business. And I got a really good education while being compensated. And I'm pretty well at the end, by the end, I was able to go launch my own company and take a bunch of free time to write and all this stuff based on, my palette and everything like that.

So it really worked out for me in the end, hopefully at right. At least right where I'm standing right now. It worked out really well. So that was a yes, that I was. Really hesitant and really not wanting to say yes to that turned out to be really beneficial to me. And I can't say one way or another, what would have changed?

I would have said no. And did something else, but from where I'm standing, it was a really lucky thing that I said yes. And was given all the opportunities I was.

Daniel: [00:20:39] If you think about that experience, and then I'm going to read you a quote that I found on medium, just talking about. yes and no. And learning to say no. So it's from medium.com and in their article, they say, if what you're accepting to do won't improve, enhance, or make you a better person, just say no.

And focus on [00:21:00] projects that are mutually beneficial to you. And the other party find task energize, lights you up, say yes instead, you'll be a happier and better person in the end that Plains Internet opportunity. When you looked at it. On its face. Did it look like one that was going to, improve, enhance you, make you happier?

Andrew: [00:21:20] Absolutely. So I didn't realize it would make me happier or anything like that. But it was definitely one of those things that it was. I looked at it. I was like, okay. there's obviously things I can learn here because at the time I was very nontechnical. I was pretty resistant about anything with technology and at the same time, I understood that I could bring a lot of value to what they were trying to do.

partly through integrity, loyalty, and honesty, and hard work, a lot of stuff that. Really, we can all provide for free, but a lot of people don't. And so that's valuable if you're willing to take those steps. So saying that I didn't know, it would actually make me happier, but I did realize that it would improve both of us at both the company and me, and it did, it ended up making me happier to me.

Andrew: [00:22:05] So there were plenty of days where I was not happy or months where I was not happy, but overall. I had a lot of fulfillment come out of it and just knowing skills and being able to translate those skills into quality work that really does bring you a certain level of satisfaction. I'm not going to say joy necessarily, but it really brings you this contented satisfaction that you knew how to do something, and you did it well, and that both parties can way better for it.

That's an awesome feeling. yeah, I totally agree with that quote.

Daniel: [00:22:38] And so just kinda thinking about that, what would you say a rule for yourself is that you really have to see the benefit and an opportunity before you would say yes to it?

Andrew: [00:22:49] So again, I'm scared to say no, I guess I'm saying scared. I don't know what it is. I don't like saying no. So there's a lot of things that I've said yes to, that were non beneficial to me. they were just time eating. So it's probably a rule I need to implement, but it's not a rule I have necessarily.

but it's good to know because I will probably start trying to do that. Now that said, how does it apply?

your grandmother asked you to mow her yard. It doesn't necessarily improve your life, but I feel like that would still be a good thing to say yes to.

Daniel: [00:23:24] Yeah. And that's where we have to be careful about justifying one way or the other. because most people probably don't necessarily love mowing a yard. And so if they take that mindset of, Oh, it doesn't do anything to improve me. It actually. It makes me worse because I have allergies and I get sunburn and it doesn't make my life better.

It doesn't make me happier. This is my role. I'll say no to it when it's in reality, if what you would have done during that time was sit and watch Netflix, which we've talked about sitting and watching and, how good that is for you. [00:24:00] If it gets you up and moving around for a little while.

that's good for your health. You get out in the sun, get some of that. What is it? Vitamin D is that what you get from?

Andrew: [00:24:09] Vitamin D thank you, Jordan.

Daniel: [00:24:10] Yeah. and there's not a lot of skill to mowing a yard, but you can always get better at anything. and then also just showing some compassion and some.

Generosity to your family, right? being sacrificial, that makes you a better person. So I think in situations where you maybe have a natural reaction one way or the other, it's worth looking and trying to see, okay, what's the root here, because again, you, you might. Try to justify the opposite way and say, Andrew's giving me this opportunity to play some college duty war zone with him.

And, I'm never going to be approached dreamer if I don't get better at this game. And so I need to really improve and enhance myself. And I need to say yes to this because it's going to lead to this benefit when it's like, Am I doing that to the detriment of something that realistically is going to improve and make it better, that I really that's more valuable, so it can cut both ways.

And I think you just have to be a little bit more honest with yourself on that quote and that rule and that mindset.

Andrew: [00:25:16] Making sure that you are aware like, Hey, is this a fear thing? Am I saying no out of fear, am I saying yes, out of fear, am I saying no out of laziness or, being conscientious of the other results of your actions? it's something we don't really think about. I know I've got friends and I've done it myself, where someone asked me simple, Hey, you want to go hang out?

Or do this thing. And despite me saying, I say yes to just about everything, there's been times where just out of hand, I'm like, no, I'm good. And it's, there's no reason for it. I just was being lazy and maybe I was in a bad mood and I just wanted to flex my ability to say no to somebody. that's a terrible reason to say no to friends doing something simple as, going and getting a drink or playing some board games or something.

Being able to keep that at the front of your mind, that everything is an opportunity where whether or not it's the opportunity for you, or if it's costing you an opportunity somewhere else. It's really good to keep up there.

Daniel: [00:26:10] Yeah. And I think it's going to be a little bit different person to person. you naturally go back to some personality traits and both of us are. Extroverts, even though you just gave that example of saying no to people. you're certainly an extrovert and get energy from doing things with people and for you and me, we made need to tend more towards saying yes to those opportunities, to interact with people and, help get us out of a funk or whatever that might be.

Cause I'm right there with you. Sometimes I can be in a bad mood and I want to say no and just want to. Sit at home or something like that. When in reality, the best thing for me would be to go be around some people and get my spirits and energy up. That may be totally different for somebody that's more on the introverted side of the spectrum.

they, especially if they [00:27:00] struggle with healthy boundaries and being able to say no and being. self-conscious about that. They actually may need to flex that know side of things a little bit more to, promote good mental health for themselves to avoid, creating resentment between them and their friends that, always force them to go out.

It's nobody's forcing you. If you need to say no, then you need to say no, but I think it's important to do some of that self-reflection and know where you're at on that spectrum.

Andrew: [00:27:30] Oh, yeah. Wait, we know some introverts that we won't name here, but sorry guys. I've learned

Daniel: [00:27:36] and it's not the extrovert's fault, for asking, it's just, we can't be mad when somebody says no, that's what we've got to, what we got to work on.

Andrew: [00:27:43] yeah. I'm not great at taking them. I've gotten much better at it, but If I was inviting people to hang out and they're like, no, I'm good. I'm like, sorry, that was not an option. It was. How long do you want to come? And when do you want to start?

So since I'm on the, it says yes, a little bit too much, but it was maybe a good thing. what about you? Do you have an opportunity that you might regret having taken on?

Daniel: [00:28:08] So I knew you were going to ask me that question and spend some time thinking about it. And honestly, I don't know that there really is something that I've regretted. Taking on. there have certainly been things that I have not enjoyed. I talked some about just, some tough work assignments that I took on some opportunities that I took on.

But I think that throughout all of those things, and this is something that we'll probably talk about more in part two, I just learned and grew from them and try to reflect throughout. And even if it was a negative experience, I felt like I got to take away. Okay. That was not something that I enjoyed.

If that type of thing comes up down the road. I know confidently that I can say no to that. And that's not for me. And I. took steps forward from it. So that’s probably a character of mine. I'm sure if, anybody that I've ever managed listens to this, they'll be rolling their eyes.

Cause that's something that I do way too often is somebody will bring a frustration, bring up an issue in my immediate response is to point out the silver lining to point out, the benefit from it or what you can learn from it. And to just hyper focus on that.

Andrew: [00:29:27] I'm going to say that's a good thing. And maybe it's just cause this is why we're in a podcast, but that is exactly the kind of stuff I think people should be going for is if you can learn something from a failure or a negative experience. Then it was still worthwhile, maybe getting coked up and robbing the bank is not a good opportunity to take on.

Daniel: [00:29:47] Yeah, I can't say that I've done that one.

Andrew: [00:29:50] generally there's not a lot of things that aren't going to be a really good lesson for you. I think the rock actually, as goofy as he is, he really gets [00:30:00] motivating sometimes and I've watched a video and that was what he talked about. everything. you can learn something from no matter what it is always be learning, always be picking up, what went wrong or how it would've been. I can't even remember. I don't even remember if it was exactly him, some butchering, whatever he said, but that was essentially the gist of it was always keep moving forward and pick up everything you can get from these opportunities that you have and whether or not they go, you're a better person at the end because you've learned something.

Daniel: [00:30:24] Yeah, and I could look back at some things in life and it's, I could say that the person that I am now and the knowledge that I have now, I would make different decisions, choose different paths. Like I, used to take piano lessons. And I quit doing that because I wanted more free time to do band and basketball.

And now I'm like, I wish I was better at piano. Maybe if I went back, I wouldn't have stopped, you and I are such good friends because we met in band. And if that decision to keep playing piano, wiped that out and I'd be a totally different person, or I think about. I love basketball so much now.

And so I think about, I played basketball in middle school. Why didn't I keep playing in high school and try to play that more? Instead I played tennis, which again, that's something that you and I did together that really built up that friendship and has continued to last,

Andrew: [00:31:19] Yeah, this is the

last name.

Daniel: [00:31:21] Oh, this is it. never mind. All right. What are you going back and play basketball? Sometimes I talk about, if I went back to college, maybe I would have done like a kinesiology degree instead of just really beating my head against the wall for a year in engineering and then doing business.

And then ultimately, with kinesiology, doing something like, physical therapy, Just because I really, as I've gotten older, have gotten more into that, I'm really into fitness and, it'd be really cool to work for a sports team. But the thing is the only reason I can look back and say, Oh, maybe I would have done that.

That is because of what choices I did make and reflections that I had from those choices, from those. Decisions. I just kinda think it's not a realistic, change or thing that I would want to go back and do differently. Now, if I had smoked a lot of cocaine and robbed a bank, I would guess that there's probably not enough positive from that.

That would make me say, yeah, no, I would definitely do that again.

Andrew: [00:32:32] and so a lot of what you're talking about, there is not actually opportunities that you regret it's it is missed opportunities. It's opportunities that you didn't chase down further. and I don't think a lot of the stuff that you're talking about either necessarily took away from being able to pursue those opportunities.

You just didn't realize that they would be as important to you as they might be now.

Daniel: [00:32:53] Yeah. And there's no way to realize that in the moment. And that's the danger of [00:33:00] looking too much in the past. It's. You definitely want to look back. You definitely want to reflect again. It's going to be a huge part of our second part to the series. But remember that we don't remember things very well.

We tend to only hold on to the really high moments. the things that really stand out and we just do a really bad job of reconstructing, the full picture of, You know how we thought about things back then, all of the other factors that were going on. I think a lot of times when you reflect back in time, you're doing it with all the knowledge and experience that you have now, and you feel like, wait, how could I have not made that decision?

But it's because you're thinking about it as you are now, and you've grown and changed since then.

Andrew: [00:33:52] Absolutely. it's a maturity process, which don't worry. We are not claiming that we were actually mature, but there’s a learning curve that. You start seeing kind of the opportunities, and

this is knowing who you are. You learn more about yourself, the more opportunities you take or the more failures you have.

And at some point, you can look back and be like, Oh, this is what I would have liked now that I know who I am or know how things have turned out for me. it's as down our says, the most important step is the next one. And I will be trying to work in more Brandon Sanderson quotes. Deal with it something that reminded me whenever you mentioned in that this is a total topic change to sorry to our listeners for this, but you mentioned we met in band or whatever he said, and I wanted some trivia in there and wanted to make sure that my memory actually does serve its purpose. I think we actually met when.

I tried to lock, pick the door to our math class after lunch in sixth grade.

Daniel: [00:34:56] my eye. it definitely sounds like something that you would have done. it sounds like something I would have been excited about. I honestly don't remember

Andrew: [00:35:09] I tried to pencil in the door to the sixth-grade math teacher. I forgot her name and Ms. Stop. Yeah, that's right.

And I tried to pick the door with a pencil. Not that I had any idea how to. But I had just shown up at Crockett because I transferred from Austin. And, I was a dumb, was greater.

That was, I had just lost all of my friends at the other school. And I was like, Hey guys, I can totally pick this lock that can cause the teacher like was late from lunch or something. And I was like, here we go. I tried, it didn't work. And I was like, Oh, then that was dumb. She came back and her key wouldn't fit in the lock.

Because the lead from the pencil was stuck in there and she couldn't unlock the door.

Daniel: [00:35:52] I do remember that.

I honestly didn't remember. It was you that did that.

Andrew: [00:35:56] Cause, I didn't know anyone. And then I did that and [00:36:00] everybody had watched me do it and then nobody ratted me out. It was wild. Like nobody in the class rounded me out. And so she's what's going on here? And everybody's don't know that dude, didn't just that we don't know and just stick a pencil and let off in it. And so finally I confessed I thought I was going to, probably have to transfer schools again. And then that the angry assistant principal came over and like essentially punched the key into the lock until they pull varies the lead and was able to get the key in and I didn't get in trouble or anything.

Like they were like, you're an idiot. Don't do that again.

Daniel: [00:36:28] That's amazing, man. I honestly had completely forgot cause my first memories were where I'm banned. I don't remember a specific instance, but I remember us, hanging out and being, I remember going to the middle school dances, throwing our smaller friends up in the air, getting in trouble for that.

you did wrestle for a brief stint as well, right?

Andrew: [00:36:53] Yes, we joined wrestling together.

Daniel: [00:36:54] I was weirdly good at it, but

Andrew: [00:36:56] I was not.

Andrew: [00:36:58] Oh, I got pinned in two seconds at the first tournament.

Daniel: [00:37:02] to be fair it's I think I probably weighed I don't know, 70 pounds. And so I was a, really small division.

Andrew: [00:37:07] That could be, I don't even remember. Sorry. Yeah, there you go. That's a that's middle school reminiscence with

Andrew: [00:37:14] Yeah.

Thanks. Thank you.

Daniel: [00:37:16] Yeah. Thank you for listening to us. talk about the things that we've forgotten about each other.

Andrew: [00:37:25] okay, let me bring you back around for a little close out. so we've talked about pursuing opportunities and all of that jazz. Have you had trouble following through when you said yes to too many things, have you actually run into that problem where you were like, Hey, I'm going to do this, and you booked up your plate too much and it screwed ya?

And then if you did what'd you do to fix it. And if you haven't, have you of that,

Daniel: [00:37:46] I've come pretty dang, close to that. So I've certainly had a lot of things that I've said yes to where, my plate got very full. Work is just the natural place where that's come up. this year as an example, I'm am on, our AT&T client account have that going on, which is its own beast.

it's been, fun to learn and that's my normal job, day to day, but then there are a handful of other things that I. Have as regular responsibilities getting, people assigned to new clients and some things like that. but then around March, one of our directors went out on maternity leave and so I had the opportunity to fill in and help, cover some of her team.

And so I had a couple of, my peers that were in the meantime were reporting to me and I was helping them with their teams. One of them also had just come back from maternity leave. So we're wrapping her back up. And then the other was, a little bit newer in the position.

So we were just tackling some things with her. and. Yeah, it just, it was a lot, during that [00:39:00] timeframe. And this is, again, this year, so March was around the time that we're starting to, tell people that we were pregnant. We're really planning and thinking about what that looked like.

we also had listed our house for sale, towards the end of March and bought a new house at the start of April. So we're moving, And then this whole COVID thing also happened. So just a lot of stuff. and it felt like a lot of stuff. And those are all things that I, I didn't say yes to COVID just that’s not my fault. Bye. All those other things were things that I said yes to and pursued, and I didn't necessarily. Plan for the timeline of that coming together. I didn't know that one of our directors would be out at the same time that, I would be buying a house and, coming to terms with becoming a dad.

so I didn't get to really choose. And so I had to make the best of trying to really handle all of those things. And I think for me, it. I wouldn't say that any of it went poorly. there certainly are things that could have been done could have gone better. And that's one thing that I told my boss, throughout this process of just realistically, like some of these things at work, I know that if I had more time to really focus on it, I could have made it a great thing instead of a, a good thing.

and I think that's what. helped me to get through it. It's just setting some of those expectations with myself and with all of those people that, are maybe relying on me, just talking to Hillary saying, Hey, this week is going to be really busy at work. and so just please be a little gracious with me if I'm not getting to dishes or if I'm just really tired.

letting my boss know, Hey, we've got to. A doctor's appointment today and I need to be there. so I need help getting some of these things covered and, just really leaning on, for 18 to you leaning on some of my experience, people that are really strong and just being able to say, Hey, I, I've got this going on or.

Are you okay to be a little bit more independent and take some of this sort of stuff on it? So I think setting those expectations on this is what I have going on. This is what you can expect. That from me was really valuable. And also me just. recognizing like when we bought this house, I ideally wanted to, I do almost every like renovation thing that we needed to do myself, that I had to recognize I'm not gonna be able to get to all of that, or I might not get to all of it as quickly as I need to.

I need to spread some of the stuff out. So recognizing the things that I also could push and say, don't have to do this right now. Even if I really want to, I can readjust this timeline. I can readjust this priority.

Andrew: [00:41:51] Dang. You did a lot of stuff, man.

Daniel: [00:41:54] It's been a busy year. Oh yeah. We were like podcasting some during that time as well.

Andrew: [00:41:58] even hammering out some edits [00:42:00] on the docs and Hey, you're still getting your workouts into.

Daniel: [00:42:03] Yeah. and that's, so that goes back to some of what you're you were talking about earlier in the episode is, scheduling. your days. and I don't necessarily schedule my days where I have, I'm going to do XYZ for this number of hours or from this time to this time, because like you said, I naturally have working hours where I am at work and I'm expected to do a work thing.

So that's a little bit built for me, but I pretty much start every day and have a list of things that I want to get done that day. Within just my personal, so that could be, I want to paint two walls in this room, and our want to, I get my workout in and I need to get some work done on it, the podcast.

And, I just want to make sure that I'm at least progressing in those things and I'm intentional about it whenever. Write it out. That helps me. Keep moving forward also just helps me know what's ahead of me. so that if I've got a moment that it's a little bit free and I'm catching my breath, I can look and see, okay, what could I fill some of this time with?

Or am I good? can I relax? Can I hop on the Xbox with the guys because, I'm taking care of things, can I go ahead and say yes to that? without. Falling behind or getting distracted on some of these other important things. So just having a good knowledge and a good a threshold on where things stand.

Andrew: [00:43:31] that's a good barometer for anybody listening a lot of people think they're really busy. They're like, I'm super busy. I'm doing all this stuff. And that word, we haven't talked about my four-letter word stuff yet, but busy is one of those words to me that is a four-letter word that is a, you don't use that word or I'm going to have beef.

And that shows just how involved and still be accomplishing. What you're talking about. You were working full time. You're doing all these other things, the house by itself, a lot of people use as an excuse,

I've had people take off from work. They're like, Hey, I need to take a few days off because I'm moving.

They're not buying a house or anything. They're just moving, and they want to take PTO for it. And I'm like, yeah, you can take your PTO, but you should use that to do something like, I want a vacation to move on the weekend. Saturday is not a laze about day or. I've got multiple friends who do nothing on Sunday.

That is their thing. And it's not like a Sabbath thing where they're like, God said don't do work on Sundays, so we're not doing it. They're just like no days. My day, where I lay about and I read books, watch TV. I eat food. I don't get on my pajamas on Sunday, Sundays. My do-nothing day.

And partying is alright, that's cool. I guess you're taking care of yourself, but also. Don't tell me you're busy the rest of the week. If you've got things piling up, because there's time. If Daniel can handle all of these disparate activities and still have energy to, hang out with his friends and work on all these side hobbies that aren't producing money.

As we talked about, [00:45:00] you've got time to. have coffee for 30 minutes or work on your own book that you're wanting to write. it's weird having written a book, how many other people want to write books now? Oh yeah. I want to write a book. I want to write a book. And none of them seem to make time to do it through.

And that's totally a failing on their part. Cause they're not too busy. You're never too busy for it.

Daniel: [00:45:17] And I think it's a. A misunderstanding of what is restful. Is there a time and a place to stay in your pajamas? A little extra, watch some TV, read some books. Absolutely does it make sense to do that for an entire day. And does that really actually recharge you and bring about rest? not really take a little bit of time to look further into that. a lot of good books out there that will really just suggest that actually, if you are, accomplishing some goals and I'm not saying like crazy goals, okay, book this weekend, but just getting some of the things done that you want to get done, that actually is going to.

Help to feel some of that recharge and some of that rest we're just not really made to aimlessly lays about it's just not good. when over consumed.

Andrew: [00:46:17] Yeah. It, our minds get crazy really quick. So say us, those opportunities guys, they're out there and don't be afraid to say yes to them. And also don't be afraid to say no to the ones that are going to cost you too much. Which, from what we've understood now are very far and few between.

Daniel: [00:46:43] Thanks for listening to our first part of this episode on opportunities, from here. Really just want to challenge everybody to. Again, be mindful of what you're saying yes to and what you're saying no, to keep in mind where you fall on your own tendencies, where you and your own gut reactions and just analyze that is really my biggest recommendation from this, because so many other things in life, Saying yes to everything.

Probably not going to be the best saying no to everything. Probably. Yeah. Not going to be the best. It takes some mindfulness, to really find that right balance. And so in our next part, what we want to do is focus a little bit more on once you've said yes to an opportunity and you're in the midst of it and you're working through it.

How do you do that? Where you get the most from that opportunity that you honor your commitments there, which is something we've talked about before, and that you're able to. to grow and to get value from it, regardless of what the outcome of the opportunity is. So if you liked this episode, give it a rating on whatever platform you're listening to, share it with a friend.

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