Never Say No To Awesome (#48)

[00:00:20] Andrew: Hello, everybody. Welcome

[00:00:22] Andrew: back to the episode. Welcome back tothe show. We are thrilled to have you again today. We're going to be talkingabout never say no

[00:00:28] Andrew: to awesome This is actually chapterone in the book, and this is the last chapter really on the podcast that weneed to cover. That goes over everything from the book we've talked about.

[00:00:37] Andrew: Obviously we'll have more episodes foryou, but this is kind of the final.

[00:00:40] Andrew: Episode that covers what we've

[00:00:41] Andrew: talked about in the dead by tomorrowbook So Daniel what does never say no to awesome

[00:00:47] Andrew: mean to you

[00:00:48] Daniel: Yeah So the

[00:00:49] Daniel: chapter name never say no to awesomecame from a work situation where somebody basically needed help with somethingit.

[00:00:58] Daniel: was a

[00:00:59] Daniel: deal where nobody

[00:01:00] Daniel: really wanted to do,

[00:01:01] Daniel: it because it wasn't

[00:01:02] Daniel: anybody's actual responsibility withsomebody being asked to take on

[00:01:06] Daniel: something extra And so I was a part

[00:01:09] Daniel: of the plea going out to do that

[00:01:12] Daniel: of looked at my day and I was like youknow

[00:01:15] Daniel: I I've got the time to do this Idefinitely could do

[00:01:18] Daniel: this And so my response to this

[00:01:19] Daniel: person who needed help was it intothat Sorry let me back up here hit a reset button on that so this chapter came

[00:01:28] Daniel: from the name of the chapter So

[00:01:31] Daniel: we came from Situation where somebody

[00:01:34] Daniel: needed help and they were asking awhole big group of people saying, Hey, who can be

[00:01:39] Daniel: awesome and

[00:01:39] Daniel: jump in and help me out with this andit's it was uh a task that

[00:01:43] Daniel: wasn't too difficult It

[00:01:45] Daniel: was just annoying and nobody reallyhad to do it

[00:01:49] Daniel: And so what I did

[00:01:50] Daniel: was looked at my day

[00:01:52] Daniel: Definitely knew that I could take

[00:01:54] Daniel: it on and help out And so my responsesperson was, I never say no to

[00:01:57] Daniel: awesome load me up And so the idea ofthe chapter never say no to

[00:02:02] Daniel: awesome We put it at

[00:02:04] Daniel: the front of the book because I thinkit does a good job of sort of kicking off one of

[00:02:10] Daniel: the more important mindsets that

[00:02:11] Daniel: we lay out throughout various chapterswhich is saying

[00:02:15] Daniel: Hey think more intentionally about theass

[00:02:19] Daniel: that come across you each and everyday

[00:02:23] Daniel: And don't be so quick to say no to

[00:02:26] Daniel: things Maybe that's partiallyinfluenced

[00:02:28] Daniel: by the

[00:02:29] Daniel: movie Yes man being really

[00:02:31] Daniel: pivotal to us uh growing up coming outat a at a formative time of life and an unhealthy obsession with Jim Carey ButI really do think there

[00:02:44] Daniel: Value in challenging yourself to say yesmore

[00:02:49] Daniel: often and having a little bit more ofa loose

[00:02:53] Daniel: baseline to what might be a beneficialthing to say yes to And so within the chapter we're putting forth thatchallenge

[00:03:00] Daniel: of trying to

[00:03:00] Daniel: say yes never say no to awesome At thesame time don't just

[00:03:06] Daniel: go full Jim Carey say yes toeverything We kind of lay out a few ground rules and that's

[00:03:12] Daniel: Really centered around considering

[00:03:14] Daniel: your ability considering

[00:03:17] Daniel: your capacity and

[00:03:19] Daniel: then just considering the impact ofwhatever thing is put in front of you

[00:03:24] Andrew: I did love. Yes, man. That was such afun movie.

[00:03:27] Andrew: You know, I still

[00:03:28] Andrew: think on a regular basis about thatmovie

[00:03:31] Andrew: there whatever

[00:03:32] Andrew: situation comes up there'll be momentswhere I'm like wanting to say no to something And I'm like I remember thatmovie Yes Ma'am you got to say

[00:03:40] Andrew: yes and

[00:03:41] Andrew: admittedly it's a terrible metric tojust do things.

[00:03:44] Andrew: It does hit me more often than it

[00:03:46] Andrew: should for a grown adult

[00:03:48] Andrew: male in his thirties

[00:03:50] Andrew: But what all right.

[00:03:53] Andrew: He's he knows everything.

[00:03:55] Andrew: So one of the

[00:03:56] Andrew: things that we talked about

[00:03:58] Andrew: in this is time as a resource and youwe're going to start from kind of the.

[00:04:03] Andrew: I would say the less yes. Side

[00:04:05] Andrew: of it we're saying say yes to things.

[00:04:07] Andrew: Never say no to awesome, which is sucha great coin

[00:04:09] Andrew: of but coin a phrase.

[00:04:11] Andrew: Oh, I'm so bad at idioms Daniel. I'mso sorry, everyone turn a phrase. I'm going to start it with the time as aresource

[00:04:19] Andrew: part we talked about how

[00:04:20] Andrew: we set some parameters out there andthese rules, and for those people listening, this was, this was probablyDaniel's first chapter that he wrote.

[00:04:28] Andrew: If I remember right. And it was, itwas one of the defining

[00:04:32] Andrew: chapters of how we did this but itmostly was done by Daniel. So a lot of these questions are going to be bald

[00:04:37] Andrew: towards him thrown towards him. Therewe go again with the idioms we're on a roll today Ah I you know I need to watchboondock saints again I guess and think of the bar So what do you mean wheneveryou like how do you how would you define it Do you have any examples especiallypost publishing of the book Do you have any examples of when you've had to sayno to an opportunity when you had to say no to being awesome to protect eitheryour time or other resources

[00:05:03] Daniel: Yeah there have been a few of them inThat's in part because of being a new dad over the course of the past 14 monthsAnd so uh an example is that my sister Beth who we've had on the podcast workswith an organization called 4runner mentoring which is an amazing organizationTheir entire aim is to pair men who are Living out a life That is a wholesomeof integrity you know is really following Christian values and pairing themwith young boys that don't have a father figure in their lives whether it's uhyou know dad just kind of up and left whether it's dad's in prison you know dadpassed away whatever it is Doing that pairing to provide them an opportunity tohave just a strong positive male influence in an amazing program And so preCOVID pre Riley I was set to start doing some mentoring and then basicallyright after my pairing conversation with DJ and his mom COVID sort of hiteverything went on pause They sort of backed out of the program just for fortheir own safety And within that timeframe I also became a dad And so it hit apoint where I think it

[00:06:34] Daniel: was January maybe January of this year

[00:06:38] Daniel: That uh the

[00:06:40] Daniel: the director of mentoring reached backout and said Hey DJ's

[00:06:45] Daniel: coming back into the program

[00:06:47] Daniel: Wanted to see if you'd be able to kindof jump back in And sort of pick

[00:06:52] Daniel: up And at that

[00:06:53] Daniel: time Riley was still kind of learninghow to sleep I had Just fairly recently come back off of

[00:07:01] Daniel: new parent leave and so it was

[00:07:03] Daniel: getting back into the swing of workswhere work had been assigned a

[00:07:07] Daniel: new team I actually joined a board foruniversity of Houston for this consumer experience sort of certificate program

[00:07:17] Daniel: And so at that point in time I had tosay Hey like

[00:07:22] Daniel: based on all of the other things thatare

[00:07:24] Daniel: going

[00:07:24] Daniel: on right now I need to say no in thismoment And it it was truly

[00:07:31] Daniel: a thing of capacity and

[00:07:33] Daniel: being able to say all right I I'vesaid yes to all of these other things I need to honor those commitments andreally put my best foot forward And not try to take on something else that Iknow would be a great opportunity I know it would be really life-giving it'sjust not the right season for it and so fast forward to you know where we're atnow almost a, year later

[00:07:53] Daniel: There've been a few things that haveshifted around one Riley's pretty good at sleeping Now the U of H thing haspretty much um You know completed work is in a much more stable place So I'mback into a point where now I am doing mentoring again and was able toeventually say yes it just needed to time needed to pass some some uh capacityneeded to free up

[00:08:17] Andrew: That's well done It's hard to say noto stuff like that but

[00:08:20] Andrew: it's important to make sure you canfollow through with the commitments you have prior to you know awesomeopportunities And leading the witness here That is something that is Kind of atheme throughout the book is commitment think we actually had it it shows up alot We'll just leave it at that Commitment's a really big thing in this bookAnd

[00:08:39] Andrew: part of the never say no to

[00:08:40] Andrew: awesome And uh the chapter that is Wasmaking sure you commit to something you're saying yes not saying no to that ifyou know you're in for double negatives here So when we talked about commitmentit was that was one of the big things that we talked about was can you committo this You know would Daniel be able to commit to mentoring somebody whichthat's a very that's something You should really take seriously Because ifyou're going to you're going to say yes to something like that You can't justHalf acid That's just borderline immoral but that applies to everything If youare

[00:09:13] Andrew: saying yes to a project at work Ifyou're saying yes to a D and D campaign you know all these different things youneed to be able to commit to it So how do you stick with commitments Daniel Howdo you know like Hey this commitment is going to take this much effort from meIt's going to provide this much value Where does commitment fall in your lifeAnd how how do you measure Again just being able to choose what you're going tosay yes to

[00:09:36] Daniel: As far as how I am able to

[00:09:40] Daniel: honor commitments a lot of that hasjust been years of really seeking to build up that reputation years Mentors andand just influences really reinforcing your word is valuable and you shouldhonor your word and and seeing when that's done well saying how much respect Ihave for people that honor commitments Being burned plenty of times when peoplesaid that they would do something and they didn't and it hurts it really doesnot feel good to be on the receiving end of that And So just recognizing I wantto do my very best to not be that type of person And so with commitmentrecognizing that little things do matter the small commitments do matter If yousay that you're going to show up to somebody's concert or you know somebody iswhatever it is And it's you know there's not any money on the line It's not gonnachange anybody's life If you're not able to make it you know follow throughwith those little things be somebody who when you say you're going to dosomething You do it

[00:10:47] Daniel: and having people to hold youaccountable and people to sort of call you out if you're getting on a trend ofof not following through with some of those things And so that's that's one wayto honor commitments And then the other way is to again to not over commitlearning when it is appropriate to say no And recognizing that you were sayingno to one thing so that you can say yes to a more important figuring out how tobalance some of your priorities and kind of thinking about things

[00:11:22] Daniel: with a little bit of a an opportunitycost mindset applying sort of some economics to it of okay If I say yes tojumping back into this mentor relationship what is it going to cost Okay Maybeit costs me playing video games a little bit more than I were more often orsomething obviously I want to do but that's an easy cost to say okay I can givethat up Or maybe it it costs me time just kinda sitting around doing my ownthing like that That's a cost worth giving up if it instead is costing me timeMy family where you know that's kind of the only time of day that I get to bewith them and I'm giving that up or it's costing me a time that I've alreadysaid yes to another thing I need to say no before I am committed So it's it'sjust kind of taking that mindset of don't overextend yourself make sure thatyou really give care To the little things and keep in mind that you're notgoing to be able to do everything that is set in front of you That's okay Butalso challenge yourself to be a little bit less selfish with

[00:12:36] Daniel: your time where you can And bestrategic you say yes to

[00:12:40] Andrew: So what's kind of cool about what yousaid there

[00:12:42] Andrew: was you know sticking through withyour word and that is a huge thing to me That was one of my

[00:12:48] Andrew: little stories I put in there wassticking to my word

[00:12:51] Andrew: somewhere in the book not necessarilyin the commit

[00:12:53] Andrew: and the never syndrome but commitmentsis huge thing to me And it's funny because I just finished

[00:13:00] Andrew: Reading slash

[00:13:01] Andrew: listening to the four agreements oneof our other guests recommended it and unfortunately it's taken me forever toget around

[00:13:08] Andrew: to it but I listened to just this pastweekend and it was great one of the rules in it was

[00:13:14] Andrew: you

[00:13:14] Andrew: must be impeccable with your word andthat's the whole point of it It's basically if you

[00:13:19] Andrew: do what you're going

[00:13:19] Andrew: to say you're going to do and youfollow through on your commitment gives you this they call it heaven in thebook

[00:13:28] Andrew: It provides you heaven in the

[00:13:30] Andrew: book It makes you happy It brings yousatisfaction It makes you not suffer Um it's it's a

[00:13:35] Andrew: positive thing That's one of the

[00:13:37] Andrew: Ways to live a more fulfilling life SoI think commitment's

[00:13:41] Andrew: really important and it's really coolthat it shows up in all these different places If you ask anybody you know thatis wise and has lived a

[00:13:49] Andrew: good life that is going to probably beone of the things that they talk about or at least that they show through

[00:13:54] Andrew: action is how they follow through withtheir commitments and how they are true to their word And it's something thatis getting more and more rare as

[00:14:02] Andrew: Our society evolves and it's becauseit's become easier and more expected to

[00:14:08] Andrew: not necessarily follow through anymoreYou know you might have

[00:14:10] Andrew: a a plan to go out with some friends

[00:14:13] Andrew: but you give a tentative Yes Or yousay yes what the idea like well

[00:14:17] Andrew: I'm going to meet up with them unlessI get a good

[00:14:19] Andrew: Cool date coming out of you knowTinder or

[00:14:22] Andrew: if some other plans show up

[00:14:24] Andrew: with some cooler people and I want togo do this other thing or

[00:14:26] Andrew: you know maybe I just decided don'twant to go So I'm just going to stay home but maybe I'll change my mind andmaybe I'll go So you just told me this kind of

[00:14:33] Andrew: wishy

[00:14:34] Andrew: washy lack of commitment drivenculture that we have

[00:14:38] Andrew: now is To me

[00:14:39] Andrew: poison both to our mental health andto the

[00:14:42] Andrew: people around us So I really do thinkcommitment to your word and commitment in general is really important andthat's why being able to Decide whether or not an opportunity that comes upsomething that you can

[00:14:55] Andrew: be awesome It is so important to knowwhere your the rest of your commitments stand because you don't want to committo one thing it causes you to break your word on something else That's a

[00:15:04] Andrew: terrible situation to be in both foryou and whoever you committed to

[00:15:08] Andrew: you know a more extreme example ofthis might be

[00:15:11] Andrew: you get married You should not be

[00:15:13] Andrew: trying to find a new wife That's

[00:15:14] Andrew: that's bad You don't want to getmarried to two

[00:15:15] Andrew: different women Think of that nexttime

[00:15:17] Andrew: you are trying to decide you know whata commitment is You don't you don't

[00:15:20] Andrew: want to be in that spot So I hope

[00:15:22] Andrew: that's a silly enough metaphor oranalogy for people to hook onto next time

[00:15:26] Andrew: They're thinking about things And waysto be awesome

[00:15:29] Andrew: Something a lot of questions that youDaniel

[00:15:31] Andrew: do you have anything on

[00:15:32] Andrew: this that you want to go over or haveme talk about

[00:15:35] Daniel: No I'm still just trying to thinkthrough The whole two wide thing a scary thought

[00:15:43] Andrew: place to be That doesn't end well foranyone

[00:15:47] Daniel: no it's an apt example though I meanyou you can't you just can't split your focus um and expect to be successfulAnd so I think Another another issue that I feel like comes up often sort of ina lot of our culture right now is just the over of choice And so I'm curious toget some of your thoughts around how does that impact commitment How does thatimpact our ability to say yes to the awesome things The fact that you broughtup Tinder dating apps are something You can just have all the dates at yourfingertips that you would like We play video games together now and we havethis Xbox game pass where there are hundreds of games you can just download andload up and play so do you feel like the just over abundance

[00:16:45] Daniel: of choice Make some of the conceptsfor never say no to awesome

[00:16:50] Andrew: So it's funny you asked that uh it'ssomething I've talked a lot about outside of the podcast with numerous peopleespecially Derek in our last podcast guests

[00:17:00] Andrew: I what does that coincidentallyironically

[00:17:02] Andrew: it's a it's a hot topic for me becauseI think about it a lot because it has become a serious problem in my mind.

[00:17:07] Andrew: Dating is a really good example of it.

[00:17:10] Andrew: Whenever you have

[00:17:11] Andrew: All of these you know, perceivedchoice out

[00:17:14] Andrew: there It makes following through with

[00:17:17] Andrew: a potential relationship or apotential marriage. A lot harder when you're like, you know,

[00:17:22] Andrew: there's this little tiny thing I'mreally not about it So I might as well not do that

[00:17:27] Andrew: and deal with this And instead I'mgoing to go start fresh with someone new someone exciting,

[00:17:32] Andrew: and you get in the cycle where.

[00:17:35] Andrew: All of a sudden,

[00:17:36] Andrew: you

[00:17:36] Andrew: you almost seem picky because

[00:17:38] Andrew: you just keep getting the reroll andtry and get that,

[00:17:42] Andrew: that next person that

[00:17:43] Andrew: new experience It's short-term reallygratifying

[00:17:47] Andrew: because you're seeing all of thesepeople

[00:17:49] Andrew: that think

[00:17:49] Andrew: you're attractive in some form orfashion or

[00:17:51] Andrew: want to spend time with that it givesyou that dopamine hitch Bam bam bam You're you're a good looking guy or

[00:17:58] Andrew: girl people want to hang out with you

[00:18:00] Andrew: and it's it's fun and it's cool butlongterm it's really bad for the long-term and as

[00:18:05] Andrew: humans we're terrible At long-termthinking,

[00:18:07] Andrew: speaking from personal experience andjust about

[00:18:10] Andrew: every aspect

[00:18:11] Andrew: of my life my

[00:18:12] Andrew: longterm planning skills And

[00:18:15] Andrew: danger things that are bad for me it'sjust kind nonexistent We didn't grow

[00:18:19] Andrew: you know

[00:18:20] Andrew: That's just not how our brains arewired We don't we aren't seeing that McDonald's is going to kill us.

[00:18:24] Andrew: In

[00:18:24] Andrew: 30 years we see the snake and we worryabout the snake on the

[00:18:27] Andrew: ground You know that rattlesnake

[00:18:29] Andrew: that's something that triggers ourflight or

[00:18:30] Andrew: fight response but going to McDonald'seven though we know it's bad for us what is that one happy meal this time Oryou know, whatever

[00:18:37] Andrew: that is We don't see long-termconsequences

[00:18:39] Andrew: nearly as well We don't see thatfinancially We

[00:18:41] Andrew: don't see a health

[00:18:42] Andrew: wise There's lots of

[00:18:43] Andrew: stuff we do Long-term And that goes tothat

[00:18:46] Andrew: opportunity of choice with dating

[00:18:47] Andrew: you don't see

[00:18:48] Andrew: what what's happening Long-term whichis a dissatisfaction with your relationship.

[00:18:52] Andrew: You're not

[00:18:53] Andrew: getting that That incredibleconnection that someone who is committed and

[00:18:57] Andrew: followed through and spent yearsculture and relationship gets it's that

[00:19:01] Andrew: satisfaction of a hard day's workalmost You're not getting that in this current culture because

[00:19:07] Andrew: it's

[00:19:07] Andrew: constant

[00:19:08] Andrew: grass is greener on the other side andyou can, there's no fence

[00:19:11] Andrew: anymore You can just go onto the othergrass. You don't have to hop the fence

[00:19:14] Andrew: anymore You just

[00:19:14] Andrew: go I'm a mixing many metaphors here

[00:19:16] Andrew: So I hope everybody's keeping up soit's

[00:19:18] Andrew: terrible

[00:19:19] Andrew: There's a book that is called You'renot as smart as you think you

[00:19:22] Andrew: are And

[00:19:23] Andrew: I love this book It's just this bookof

[00:19:26] Andrew: psychological Studies they did in kindof the uh the end result in layman's terms so someone you know that is notnearly versed

[00:19:35] Andrew: enough to understand those studiesIt's great for someone like

[00:19:37] Andrew: me

[00:19:38] Andrew: or probably most of our listenerswhere it says, Hey,

[00:19:39] Andrew: this is the study This is how they didit. Um You can trust us

[00:19:42] Andrew: that it was done right

[00:19:43] Andrew: Because I've gone over the researchand here was the end

[00:19:45] Andrew: result and what that means for you Andit's it's really well easy way now you don't

[00:19:48] Andrew: have to have a doctorate to understandit

[00:19:50] Andrew: You probably don't even have to have adegree of any

[00:19:51] Andrew: kind

[00:19:53] Andrew: But one of the studies I did in this

[00:19:55] Andrew: was really interesting.

[00:19:56] Andrew: And it goes with this opportunity

[00:19:57] Andrew: choice problem and it, this applies todating. this

[00:19:59] Andrew: applies to your career This applies toa lot of different aspects in your life You can probably just name somethingand

[00:20:05] Andrew: apply it if you think it matches.

[00:20:07] Andrew: So what they did was they had a

[00:20:09] Andrew: bunch of people and they gave himthese cameras and they had them go

[00:20:12] Andrew: take all these cool pictures and coolplaces or something like that.

[00:20:15] Andrew: And I'm butchering the uh the detailshere The broad brush strokes are going to be accurate though So what they didthey had the two groups Everybody took pictures at the end of the picturetaking artistic picture taking specifically session They had group a go in andthey had eight or nine or 10 photographs to choose from Basically what they'redoing was they're going to blow this photograph up into a cool giant portraitto hang on the wall at the house all a wealthy family style Problem was youonly got to take one You you got to pick one of your 10 pictures that theyturned into these giant portraits and you only got to take one home group Bonly got one choice Basically they took the pictures I took and said all righthere is your best picture And this is the portrait of it Thanks forparticipating So what they were studying was not people's picture taking skillsor anything like that They were seeing what happens with what is basicallybuyer's remorse or regret towards making the decision And the end result wasthe people with the more choices of which portrait they wanted which picture theywanted to Hank or less satisfied with the one they took home Whereas the peoplewho only had that one option We're much more satisfied They're much happierwith their choice or the lack of choice five years 10 years down the road Andthis is probably why arranged marriage has seemed to work out a little bit morepeople understand that you have to and and that's not like Andrew making somerandom thing up They have shown that arranged marriages are less likely to endin divorce Then I think what Eastern culture calls love marriages but it's notbecause A love marriage is necessarily bad It's because as a society peoplelike us who believe in love marriage which for the record I do think is theproper way to do this But sometimes we forget what love is And we we think wefall out of love because some of those fresh exciting things that we thoughtwas love aren't there And we forget that it's work It's there's hard workinvolved with and our opportunity Choice that regret a psychological factorcomes into play and we go well remember that one person that you really had agood time with before your wife or before your husband they were pretty coolAnd you get these rosy tinted glasses of the past and you go wow I had such agood time with them Maybe I should have married them Maybe there's someone elselike that still out there I'm not really enjoying this relationship I'm in thismarriage I'm in And this this applies to everything we're using relationshipsbecause it's easy And it was kind of like You know the starting topic here andit kind of goes with the portraits but basically the less choices we have thehappier we are psychologically And so we're we're crossing into this divide ofwe have so many choices that it's kinda messing us up Uh video games was a greatexample You talked about I just watched a bit Christmas last night Have youseen that yet

[00:23:06] Daniel: No no Yeah

[00:23:07] Andrew: You need to watch it It's Neil PatrickHarris It's just a cute cute little Christmas movie And there's a part wherehe's playing the super Nintendo at the And I remembered as a kid how crazy Iwas about playing the superintendent In my case it was the PlayStation two Ithink Or maybe it was a PlayStation one You need to play those video games attarget at the kiosk on the corner on a mobile shop I lost my mind for it And itkind of touch on that in this movie That was how video games were I rememberyou know maybe a video game every couple of years when I finally got a consoleI would go crazy for it How it just I loved it I cared so much about it I was Iwas a lot more invested Uh now a new video Kim's comes out and I'll just I'llkind of play it and You know it almost feels like maybe I'm getting old MaybeI'm just not appreciating life as much as I used to or maybe you know I'mbecoming jaded but it's not bad It's my opportunity to choice is so large Ihave so many different video games and some so much access to being able toplay it That my appreciation for an individual video game has fallen a littleto the wayside And you know the psychology is there doesn't mean I can changeit necessarily unless I artificially lock off my ability to make thosedecisions which is it's hard to do And it's hard to do when you're dating orit's hard to do in life in general because we have all of this technology atour fingertips That's supposed to make everything If you listen to our episodeabout those four letter words that's not something that you necessarily want

[00:24:35] Daniel: Yeah I totally agree with all that AndI feel like it can be a little overwhelming and and sort of the this mindset ofokay W w what what am I supposed to do Because we can't necessarily just turnback the clock and go to a point where Everybody kind of played the same thingwatched the same thing did the same thing but I think it's more so just havingsome of the awareness of what some of the rose colored glasses are and having agreater appreciation for some of the slow burn aspects of our lives and Beingand doing our best to you know be honest with some of when we think back to thepast And so I know for a lot of people maybe they sort of had glory days thatwere high school or college or whatever it is but I think that we just weremember the highlights and we tend to sort of forget all of the Aspects thatwere really challenging really frustrating Um and and obviously you know thethis may not apply to everybody because it could be that there really have beensome major struggles that have happened in your life kind of since an earliertime And there've been some major events where you know maybe this time reallyis a tougher spot to be in and that's a whole whole nother episode but I thinkthere are plenty of people that actually The the stage of life that they're inhas a lot of good in it A lot of things to really be grateful for And a lot ofthings that maybe you're improved over you know in the past when you're in highschool and you could be paralyzed by your crush thinking that you were sillyand like that could cause you to like not eat dinner and like lose yourappetite to me just thinking about that now A little bit ludicrous as far assome of the differences and just self confidence self identity and some ofthose types of things But instead you just remember oh man we got to do these awesomehalo system links where I got to stay up late with all my friends and playvideo games and all that sort of stuff And so like yes there are advantagesThere are things we missed or things that we could do in other stages of lifethat we couldn't do now similarly Marriage relationships that kind of firstsparks stage Um that's a that's a unique and really cherished precious time oflife And sometimes if you're going through a tough time right now you you sortof romanticize some of those times in the past but again we sort of forget Allof the the frustration that can be a part of the whole dating period and likenot having that committed relationship and all the good that comes from thatAnd again if you think about you know another crush that you had before thespouse and you sort of compare some of that like new fresh feeling to how youfeel right now of course those things are different You're talking about arelationship death Yes You know 5, 10, 15, 30 years in the making versus thatnew sort of fresh exciting thing There are different you cannot compare thosethings together and expect that to be an even comparison That's truly an applesto oranges type of comparison So I think it's just being mindful of some ofthose things It's it's trying to take off some of those rose colored glassesthat you have of the past and trying to think through Okay Well if Put thosesame rose colored glasses on for what I'm going through right now What are someof the highlights that actually exist that I can be grateful for what are someof the low lights I'm facing now that in reality you know that that was also kind of there in the past and theseother situations

[00:31:02] Daniel: All right So our challenge this weekas you can probably guess is to try saying yes to something that Maybe youwouldn't normally say yes to maybe it makes you a little bit uncomfortable butit is something that could be awesome Whether it's something that you knowmaybe could be awesome for you or more importantly it could be awesome forsomebody else Example of that is helping somebody move right Like that doesn'treally seem all that fun But here's a good chance that you'll learn a littlebit about something for somebody else and the person that you say yes to WowThat will be amazing for them Uh you'll you'll become their new best friend atthe very least Hopefully you'll get some pizza So I can almost guaranteethere'll be something that will come up across the course of this next weekwhere you'll have the chance to look at your ability basically saying would Ibe able to do that And then your capacity saying do I realistically have thetime to do it And I I would challenge you We would challenge you to to be alittle bit aggressive with your thoughts and expanding your thoughts on whatyour ability what your capacity might be So give it a try see how it goes Letus know if you discover your next new favorite thing or let us know if you havea really terrible experience and you know maybe you'll at least get a goodstory So that's all we have for this week as always We appreciate you coming byWe appreciate you listening And until next time this is dead by tomorrow

‍